This is for all the medical students out there who didn't understnd that the road to becoming a doctor was four years spent hating their lives. I feel your pain friends
Sunday, June 17, 2012
That awkward moment between graduating and starting residency when you have no clue what to tell people you do
So it is official, I got to graduate. I am an MD. I am a doctor. I cannot believe it. I was waiting for something bad to happen but for once it didn't. I was allowed to graduate! Now I am sitting in my new apartment in my new city waiting for residency to start and I can't believe I am a doctor. It definitely hasn't set in yet. I was sitting in the spa the other day, filling out a form before getting a well deserved massage, and I was asked for my "occupation." I didn't know what to put! For the past four years I have put student. But I'm a graduate now. Yet I don't consider myself a doctor quite yet. Mostly because I have no real training yet. I've got this MD and I don't know how to do anything with it. Or even what I'm supposed to do with it. I'm not really unemployed because I signed a work contract but I haven't started my job yet so I feel unemployed. I don't feel a like a doctor. I'm terrified if I tell people I am one they will start asking me questions that I can't answer. So I'm a doctor, what does that even mean at this point?
Here I sit, relaxing because I don't start intern year for another week, wondering how I am going to survive. I pretty much haven't done anything for the past three months. How am I going to start working again all of a sudden? How am I going to ever convince myself that I am a doctor. When does that happen? I totally feel like Eliot Reid on Scrubs when she could never explain what it was that she did. And JD was like "you are a doctor." I odn't feel like one. And my mom loves to run around telling everyone that I'm a doctor. And for about a day I loved it too. Now I am not sure I deserve the title. Awkward.
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